Okay so, you may or may not have noticed that I haven’t been around in a month or so. I’m sorry for not saying anything sooner, though I do think by now some of you are owed an explanation. Truly though, there really isn’t one. I’ve RPed for four or five years, been a member of the rp community for almost two and I’ve had a great time, done amazing things, and met incredible people. But as of recently, or really a long time before that, things were different. Eventually the constant backlash from people got too grating so I moved to this blog, and eventually on this blog the petty cattiness from some people got overwhelming too. Slowly, RPing was becoming like high school for me where I was trying too hard to simply ignore the shitty stuff and hold on to my couple friends and have fun. And honestly, I’m 22 years old and trying to go places with my life and the negativity and constant battle just got exhausting. Working and working to log on to my other blog and get mean anons, putting so much work into rpcgron and for the only thing people ever know about me is to say things like ‘you’re turning into rpcgron’ got discouraging. So many people around here latch on to bad things. They only see what gets told to them instead of spending the time to get to know people. I can’t tell you how many times since being in this community I’ve heard “I hated you because people told me to but I realized I didn’t know you at all.” And that’s sad. Not for me. I’ll live. It’s sad that this community is the kind of place that has begun discouraging people from interacting, working together, and listening to one another. It’s sad that people would rather attack than listen, ridicule than assist, keep out than welcome. It’s sad that people resort to the cliquey, middle school tactics of redirecting IPs, and writing on goggles. And the more I stuck around the more that I realized that I was letting petty stuff ruin my mood 80% of nights, and letting constantly working to outshine the bad rep people gave me put more pressure on me than I was capable of handling. Since, no matter how invincible I like to be most days, eventually everyone has a breaking point. I never reached that. I’m not here to say that I have or that all of this triggered some kind of mess in my life. It didn’t. I just reached the decision that it wasn’t worth that. That it wasn’t worth the chance of it getting there and it wasn’t worth continuing to put so much time and energy and love into a place that was constantly brimming with so much negativity and cruelty.
That isn’t to say that it’s all bad. The main reason I made this post was to give the people who I owe it to an explanation. And there are those people. I learned a lot here. I made a lot of friends here and I had a lot of fun. I got more feedback and compliments working on Compound and other games than I ever have in projects in real life and that was incredible and inspiring. People in this community have the power to inspire, in so many ways. And they all have the power to teach each other things. It was wonderful to be a part of that, and while I do have a lot of negative memories, there will come a time in my life when I’ll look back on my years as a part of all of this and smile, for the amazing people, for the wealth of knowledge, for even the drama and bullshit, the learning experiences, the social interaction, coming together as groups of two to groups of 80 and producing things that we loved. RPing is something that I lvoe. Admining rps is somethign I love even more. So for those of you that always gave things a chance, and for those of you that were always supportive and amazing, and those of you that inspired me either from working with you or just from afar, I wanted to say thank you. You have blessed the last four years of my life and the things I’ve experienced here will not ever be wasted or useless because of the good things that you all brought. There are a few people under this cut that I wanted to say something to specifically. Other than that, to all of you, thank you. I hope your lives continue to overflow with your creativity and intelligence, that you continue to teach and learn and paint the world in the way that we’ve painted so many stories so far. I wish every single person in this community the upmost happiness in their lives from here on out, and hope to be able to offer support or anything if you ever need it, as I consider so many of you life long friends, no matter how little we may talk. I won’t be RPing anymore. I won’t be here any more. But I’ll never not be an RPer. I’ll never not carry all of you and this experience with me in my future and wherever I end up going. And that wouldn’t be something I’d have without the people here who made it amazing and even the ones that made it awful.
yeah i don’t evne care anymore tbh.